Pickled Turnips

Pickled Turnips

Granny fills cans with pickled treats

From carrots, cucumbers, and beets

But while drinking her fifth beer

To toast a good canning year

Preserved turnips in whiskey neat

On Christmas Eve she gave me one big jar

Of turnips in whiskey and a cigar

It turned all my poop pink

And pushed me to the brink

So Christmas morning is in the ER

Pickled turnip poop is actually kind of a pretty color


Sitting on my couch

Mind is really blank

I should do a plank

Body in max slouch

I do no exercise

I want to go to bed

But coconuts arise

Inside my sleepy head

My significant other thinks it looks like a testicle. Vote: cute coconut or hairy testicle?

WTF…I can’t draw

WTF…I can’t draw

I’m trying to use a free drawing tool to sketch my first cartoon. It looks like crap. I had to laugh because I can’t figure out how to draw a circle for the eyes – they keep looking like Pac-Mans (Pac-Men???). Oh well. It’s going to be interesting to see how my skill with this drawing tool evolves. By the way, the thing at the bottom is soap with some bubbles.